Blink Once for a ‘Parasite’ Win…

He doesn’t like Hollywood. And he doesn’t like not-Hollywood. Don’t worry, though, he loves the South. And maybe “Home Alone 2” when it’s not airing on Canadian television.

President Trump yesterday criticized the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences for handing its annual Best Picture prize to “Parasite,” the first time it has bestowed a foreign-language (i.e., not predominantly in English) film with its top honor.

“The winner is a movie from South Korea,” Trump told attendees at a Colorado rally, some of whom no doubt presumed all Koreas are the same. “What the hell was that all about? We’ve got enough problems with South Korea, with trade. And after all that they give them best movie of the year?”

Yeah, Academy! Didn’t you know that Best Picture is reserved exclusively for movies from Hollywood, which Trump also hates because none of its stars would appear on Celebrity Apprentice? (Sorry, Stephen Baldwin.) Trump then expressed what he really wanted was movies like “Gone with the Wind,” which glorifies racism, and “Sunset Boulevard,” which is about a self-deluded monster trying to stay famous.

Wait. That sounds too on-point. Does Donald Trump have no sense of irony or is he trying to tell us something? Is there some forgotten neuron using Morse code from the basement of his brain, saying, “I’m going crazy down here trying to get Robert Pattinson’s attention”?

Trump’s early favorite for next year’s Best Picture Oscar is 1944’s “Gaslight.”